For In War, Optimism Is A Wager

For In War, Optimism Is A Wager (12/02/2018)

Letting you go was hard, but

Keeping you back would mean

Barely having your torso, not your soul.

I was madly in love–first, fresh and fine it was.

Earlier, I had always tried to mask

That face. I was vain and vanity blinded me–

Not knowing there was someone–you.

Not that I was particularly inclined

To prove the necessity of a war–

Not even war–in the first place.

War! I couldn’t dare bring those terrorizing words–

Of how I feared losing you–show

Up on my soft lips before kissing yours bye.

Even the slightest wretched thought of it

I had set off by looking deep into your sad

But determined eyes. Because, if not

Attended to, I had feared the fire

Would burn to ashes of what we had and shared.

You were there that moment, safe

In my arms. We were holding

What was ours together for the last few minutes,

We had in our hands.

And then you would go, I had let that sink in.

When you finally left, you took along

A part of my heart. And I gasped for a mouthful of air,

Seeing you disappear on the horizon.

Days later when my fear left me feeling sore,

Often, I would wonder what was it all worth for?

But the answer is never straight-forward, is it?

Months later, you had revealed in your letter

Saying you had a gift for me–

Saying you were safe–safe!

To that I had let my heart smile

For a bit, because longer would mean danger,

For in war, optimism is a wager.

-Ara

Aradhana Gtour

mywingedwords

Image Credits: Rotten Tomatoes

This poem is inspired by the movie 'Testament Of Youth' based on Vera Brittain's experience of war. In this poem, I have tried to put into words the range of emotions that war-fighters and their darlings back home go through. I would further like to say, war is not just a physical battle between two sides. It can be anything, even like the current times of #COVID-19, when frontline workers are called on duty and they report, leaving behind their loved ones. While they may find themselves forever in the dilemma of staying back with their families and protecting them, their conscious saves them by putting them where they are needed. Imagine being torn between duty and love. And their loved ones are spared from the dilemma either. They're haunted, day and night, for a part of their heart is out there fighting the pandemic but most importantly trying to save lives of people who are dear to someone. But their brave hearts save them and keep their minds sane. They know better and extend their heart-felt support to their love, selflessly. Let us respect our heroes and their sacrifices and #stayhome, #staysafe.